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Sunday, August 7, 2011

Catering to Cool

All right, hipsters…let me lay one on you. I think you're very cool and that band you like is awesome (wait, what's that? You like a new band? And I've never heard of them? How very original), but I have a bone to pick.

Brian and I were given the incredible opportunity to put on clothing and leave the house for somewhere other than work in what most of you take for granted every Friday and Saturday night. Grandma decided it was time for a special night with her special little guy, which meant we were free to go get dinner and then meet friends for drinks afterwards.

Now hipsters, I don't expect you to understand the sheer excitement that comes from being able to choose a restaurant for grown-ups, but we couldn't wait to pick between our old stand-bys and those new spots we've been dying to try but aren't very kid-friendly so must be reserved for nights like this. Going down the list, however, most of those special places are now completely different restaurants or bars or fusion-y tapas places with ridiculous names. I like new things, but I'm not given long enough to get to know the new thing when it goes out of business in two months time. And dear god, can't a girl just get a steak? And one that's cooked in something other than rabbit fat or passionfruit-infused reduction of wasabi? Please? I know that California cuisine is oh-so-trendy, but this is Texas, dammit!

You'll likely argue that our old haunts closed as a result of poor business practices, but it's this last point I must counter, dear hipsters. In your constant search for the "next new spot," you've neglected a fair amount of wonderful establishments. Your short attention spans are ruining it for everyone except the guy who now owns 98% of East 6th, and he only manages to be successful there by opening a new bar every month. And they're all the damn same! All of them! 

So while it seems I am yelling at you, this is more a call to action. Take your unlaced oxfords and rolled jeans and wonderfully ironic tank top with the rainbow graphic of Chewbaca and look cool in a place you haven't been to in, say, 6 months. I'll bet the food is just as good as you remember and the craft beer selection is still heavy on the IPA's. Go! Now! It could be taken over soon by a new concept of food trucks that sell Kombucha and Chickpea popsicles and different varieties of gluten-free pies. Gross.


  1. ...but, some people are allergic to gluten, and they need their pies! also, sounds like you're ready to leave austin.

  2. No, I love Austin, but I hate the constant turnover and challenge that small business owners face when trying to please a growing community of fickle trendsters. All I'm saying is, new isn't always better.

  3. and you're right...gluten-free is great for those who need it.

  4. Eating gluten-free? I think that's just another excuse for not wanting to finish the food on your plate!